Reading

Current Mood: worried
Current Music: I Still Love You - 702

Entry tags:

challenge: community thursdays

Community Thursday Except It's Not Thursday Anymore Post

I've commented in

vsynthrecs and

vampiremedia, and I'm seriously considering participating in

moodthemeinayear next year, but not the yearly challenge -- probably a monthly one or the bingo -- but uhh. Hey, these are mostly the same comms I participated in last time! I hope next time will be different, LMAO.

This is probably related, so I'm going to talk/ask about my plans for the visual kei community here. If that seems like the kind of thing you'd be interested in, read more and vote in my poll here if you haven't already. I really do hate sounding like an attention-seeker, but, well... I kinda need a little attention right now xD I don't want this community to be dead on arrival, you know?
( Imagine me sitting at a large desk with my hands folded in front of me. )

Current Mood: frustrated

Entry tags:

(no subject)

There's a Cozy Fantasy Book Blast happening, and I picked up Good Neighbours by Stephanie Burgis, and Tsumiko and the Enslaved Fox by Forthright. Speaking of cozy, I had a conversation on the FaRo discord about project-hopping, because while I know I'll return to angsty paranormal romance in future projects and am committed to writing Book Two of Bloodhunt Academy right now, I need to have a cozy fantasy writing project ongoing alongside. The cozy dragon romantasy is what I'm eyeing right now. While they're two different vibes, I'm going to keep them on the same pen name (I looked at my collection of book ideas and realised I'm not a writer who can come up with similar things for long in the first place).
( We've been menstruating so many centuries, and yet. )
How does one go through life WITHOUT feminine rage? Given everything?

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: that one friend who's too deadman

Entry tags:

real life

Interest Check: Visual Kei Song Reccs Comm

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I was just wondering if there's anyone here, followers, mutuals, passers-by alike, who would be interested in a community where we share and comment on vkei* songs + MVs, and nothing else? No general discussion, because I shouldn't be allowed to moderate that. Touching the conversations I imagine could happen would be like touching hot coals, but if we stay laser-focused on discussing the music then it's fine. At the very least, there will likely be a monthly thread where people can ask for personalized reccs!

The more I think about the comm the more ideas I have for it in terms of little events/challenges and such, so yea. I got the idea because a server I'm in has a channel where people post music, but it irks me how fast it goes and how there's no organization, so for this comm I want songs/MVs to be tagged with the subgenre (ex. kurofuku, tanbi, kote, menhera) and sound (ex. rock, metal, punk, electronic). If the poster is unsure which tags to use they won't have to tag anything, because the mod(s) will do it... Ideally! I don't really know how the specifics of tags in communities work, so we'll see.

If the comm really does happen, then while it's small I can only imagine needing a music-obsessed co-mod for adding/editing sound tags. I'm still learning about genres of music, so while I want everything to be tagged properly I don't trust myself to get the sounds right. However, I don't want just anyone to be able to add tags, because the ensuing arguments might be wild.

Anyways, yea ^_^ Let me know if you're interested or have something else to say. I won't say the number out loud (digitally), but there is a certain amount of positive responses I need before I seriously work on this. And of course if this is a bad idea that everyone hates I would prefer not to waste my time trying it, LOL.

Poll #33937

This poll is anonymous.
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 9

Would you participate in a vkei song reccs community?

View Answers

Yes, I would love to share songs!
1 (11.1%)

Yes, I'd love to comment on shared songs when interested!
1 (11.1%)

Yes, I'd love to share songs AND comment on ones I like!
2 (22.2%)

I would definitely lurk!
5 (55.6%)

I dunno... We shall see.
0 (0.0%)

I would participate in this comm if it weren't for the fact that YOU'D be in charge of it (my honest reaction)
0 (0.0%)

NOT interested, buddy!
0 (0.0%)

*The community won't be 100% visual kei. Some of my ideas for events/challenges, both unique and reoccurring, include sharing related scenes and genres. However, I do plan for events where we can share not-vkei songs to be shorter than the ones that are vkei-only. I've thought so much about this.

Entry tags:

you choose such a backward time

There's a store on Queen Street that has a sign out front that says "Ice-cream fixes everything."

Yesterday I walked past a bistro on my way to the gf's place that said "Wine fixes everything".

I am prepared to review their respective arguments, especially if said arguments are made via wine and ice cream.

***

Note that I said "walked" in that story, because I am WALKING again, no cane required. My physiotherapist is fucking magic. I'm still on a bit of a leash so I don't overdo it, but the gf's condo is a 25 minute walk from my house and not only did I walk there, I walked home after and my foot felt fine this morning.

Plans to set the entire world on fire may be temporarily placed on hold as a result.

***

Got my boosters last week. Spent most of my spare time for the next three days sleeping. My immune system calmed down eventually but the first day at work was kinda rough.

***

My dad is doing much better and his wife decided he doesn't need the hospital bed since it's a rental. She was planning to buy him a regular bed, but since I still have the Old Man's old bed frame in my storage locker I offered that one. My sister has a pickup truck, so the two of us hauled it over and set it up.

We're both encouraging her to look into moving to a condo but she's not really receptive to the idea. Thing is, she's also running out of the ability to take care of the place, especially since she's doing it alone and taking care of my dad at the same time. She already hires people to deal with the yard.

***

Still waiting on engineer.

***

( cut for the endless gauntlet of house shit )

***

I have the overwhelming desire to put together a playlist for my family's Xmas dinner. This desire was sparked by hearing Laibach's version of Jesus Christ Superstar on Twitch tonight.

C'mon, it would be hilarious.

Current Mood: okay

Entry tags:

Adaptation

( Processing family stuff )
I finished A Curse So Dark And Lonely and... guess what y'all... I ship the prince and the commander //faceplams //shrugs

I meannn. SPOILERS but likeeeee.

The commander is the only one left by the prince's side, and stays loyal to the prince even after the prince transforms into the Beast and kills most of the commander's family. Stays loyal to the prince even when the prince attacks him in Beast form, keeps trying to get himself hurt in the prince's stead, and tries to fake his own death to avoid interfering in the prince's future...

The prince is all "sobs I'm so mean to you why don't you hate me" and the commander is all "I gave you my word, my prince" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The commander has risked himself to protect the Beastly prince at each transformation, season after season, and this book tried to convince me that a girl who was trapped in the Beast's castle in just ONE season gave the prince True Love?? Excuse me, do you see the commander and the prince??? THAT'S TRUE LOVEEEE

Ahem. Anyway I borrowed the second book in the trilogy, A Heart So Fierce And Broken, because obviously I need to ship the prince and commander more. The first book ended with the commander faking his own death and the prince being heartbroken, though, so I'm just hoping they don't stay separated throughout the second book, I don't have the patience for that.

In other news, I renewed my BookBrush subscription, which pinches, but I need it for my indie author projects. I also renewed my premium Dreamwidth account (yay for the points bonus!) and deleted a few icons. I'm thinking of moving my monthly payments for my author website to yearly, as well. We shall see. I was looking into moving my author newsletter from Substack to PencilBooth, which is also free. But PencilBooth doesn't have a welcome email, just a welcome message. And I can't make do with just a welcome message when I need to remind people who download my reader magnets from Bookfunnel promos who I am. I need pictures and links, not just a paragraph of text. So still using Substack for now.

My tummy hurts for hours every day and I'm glad I'm not working, but I want to write more than I am now. I want to rest and then write, not just rest and then rest some more. The FaRo discord I'm part of does FaRoWriMo every month, in which you choose your word count goal for the month and track it together on a collective spreadsheet where we each get a column (and talk and support each other in the dedicated discord channel) and I'm considering modifying my goal. I want to sigh, but I also feel fortunate about being able to rest, but I guess disappointment and relief can coexist.

Current Mood: okay
Current Location: i'm not a man btw. don't believe my lies.
Current Music: Heaven or Las Vegas - Cocteau Twins

Entry tags:

media: music

That's a Wrap!

This morning I read a NYT article about Wrappeds, and almost all the comments were so hostile. God forbid a man like numbers and stats and data.

This will probably be my last Spotify Wrapped (that has a useful amount of data, at least), which makes me kind of sad to think about since 2026 would've been 10 years' worth of Wrappeds for me. Not counting the fact that I totally missed 2018's for some reason. But it's okay... I stay strong... And I have Last.FM, which does their Wrapped in January like a normal year round-up thing should, so it's fine.

This is my 2nd year in a row with the same top 4 artists, although the order is a little shuffled. This is probably my 9th year with MCR in my top 5? (Meaning, they've been there ever since I started using Spotify.) And if memory serves me correctly, this is probably year 4 of having BT, MCR, and Michael Jackson in there. Possibly a little more.

I like how "rock" is lowkey in my top genres twice. Probably three times, since most of the "J-pop" is probably J-rock, which Spotify may tag as both J-pop and rock? I wish they consolidated genres a little better for this, or that I had the option to do so.

For the top song quiz I chose It Never Rains, but it was Ice Cream 💀💀💀 I dunno what I was going through to listen to it almost 200 times. Banger though.

Darlin' made a comeback after 5 years... in 2020 I was obsessed with it, although it was the rerecording I was looping. I like both the mature, improved vocals and younger, grittier vocals. They're each for their own kind of mood.

Ever since really listening to BT in 2019 they've been my #1 top artist, and I've been within their top 1% of fans. I think in 2019 I was within the top 0.1% though... something like that. I'm always worried I'm going to fall from the top percentages, but it hasn't happened yet! I worry about overplaying them and falling out of love too, though! How do I balance this!? Help me!!?!?

"Your club favorites"
>Wu-Tang Clan
>Band I have one liked song from
>Pierce the Veil (valid ig)
>Member of the Wu-Tang Clan
>Another member of the Wu-Tang Clan
>MCR (sadly valid)
Don't piss me off..

As for my role in the Grit Collective, I got "Recruiter - You share music far and wide, bringing in frequent new club members," which made me go "huh" until I remembered I like to send links to one specific guy all the time. Not sure that makes me a good recruiter! Said guy ignores my links half the time anyways TT_TT
divider

Did you know? YouTube, not YouTube Music but regular 'ol Youtube, had a Recap too. This is all that really matters though:

The "sides of you" thing is so funny to me... Too true YouTube. Too true.
Yea, I pretty much only use YT for music and anime OPs and EDs, and sometimes for studying or tutorials. I can't stand video essays. I always think "this could've been a blog post." I can read faster than people can talk, too many people have voices that annoy me or distract me from what they're saying, and I can look for the specific info I need faster with text too. End the reign video essays. Return to WordPress.

Linking my 5 most looped videos in the drop-down.

Boy Do I Love Anime

Put the links into xoutu.be yourself if you hate cookies. <- lazy

#5! I still haven't played this LOL. 2026 for sure!! I watched my friend play a little bit of it, and I think it's cute, but I will always feel :/ towards how Tokimeki Memorial makes it so you Have to get along with Everyone or you DIE. Why tf do I have to date 20 people to date the one I want man. Also the friend characters should be romanceable. But yea, the guy who is obviously the main guy, the blond bad boy, is so cute awwwwww <:3 And this translation is awesome btw, kudos to OP.

Watch on YouTube

#4 is from that time I tried watching the first episode of a bunch of anime I saw girls talking about on older blogs and websites, decided they were all bad and those ladies were just desperate for yaoi, and then never watched episode 2 of any of them. Saiyuuki also has an art style I don't especially like, but the opening is a banger to fun to look at.

#3 is orientalism if it was epic🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Don't ask me anything about this show btw I don't remember shit but this ending

#2 is holy mother of yaoi
Got called autistic in Washington for watching this constantly for like a week (true and deserved)

#1 is this opening that makes me want to throw rocks at my own head <33333333
It's so misleading LMAO It makes it look like Naruto and Sasuke are besties and like Sakura actually does stuff. But it still makes me feel crazy.
Relevant quote from a locked entry written by myself:

i looked up the first naruto opening on USA cartoon network, and there were quite a few comments saying they really liked it (valid, fair) and that if they had seen the jp opening first they probably wouldnt have watched naruto. this means that the localizers did a good job picking a new opening song and sequence for this new audience, but this also means the average usamerican would rather watch keys jangle then enjoy beauty. SAD! (yes yes, there is beauty to be found even in a set of keys...)

And I'm inlcuding my entire Top Songs list... according to Spotify. If Last.FM does this too, and I think they do? Then it will probably look quite different, because there's lots of songs I listened to that aren't on Spotify, as well as songs I became obsessed with at the end of November and throughout this month.

Don't judge me.

Ice Cream (feat. Ghostface Killah, Method Man & Cappadonna) - Raekwon

Jesus - Laputa

DARLIN' (Album Version) - D'ERLANGER

It Never Rains (In Southern California) - Tony! Toni! Toné!

Broken Youth - NICO Touches the Walls (aka this Shippuden ED) (I tried listening to all this band's discog btw and couldn't find much else, so if you know any other songs that sound like this... like do I just listen to more J-rock from the late 00s or is this a specific subgenre I can look into or)

Scent Of Love - Helena Nogeurra

Te Aviso, Te Anuncio (Tango) - Shakira (English title is "I'm Warning You, I'm

Telling You (Tango)" ... ?)

Fallin' Out - Keyshia Cole

Glass no Sougen - Kikuchi Momoko (English is "Glass Plain")

Call Me - Aretha Franklin

Black - Pearl Jam

He Won't Go - Adele

Through Glass - Stone Sour

Don't Ask My Neighbors - The Emotions

Player's Prayer - Lloyd (💀)

Seishun Kyousoukyoku - Sambomaster (aka this Naruto OP. English title is "Rhapsody of Youth".)

RISKY VENUS - Crazy:B (💀💀💀💀💀)

IN MY DREAM (WITH SHIVER) - LUNA SEA

Love Of My Life (An Ode To Hip Hop) - Erykah Badu ft. Common

I Want You Back - The Jackson 5

I'm Still in Love with You - Al Green

Candy - Cameo

Baby cruising Love - Perfume (you will always be famous!!!!!!!!!!!!)

All I Do Is Think of You - Troop (did you know this is a cover of a Jackson 5 song?)

Tchaikovsky: The Nutcracker, Op. 71, Act 2: No. 14a, Pas de deux. Andante maestoso - Tchaikovsky

Over the Rainbow - Aretha Franklin

Sylvia: Pizzicato - Léo Delibes

Superwoman - Karyn White

What the Hell - Avril Lavigne

Until The End Of Time (with Beyoncé) - Justin Timberlake

You're Not My Kind Of Girl - New Edition

A Long Walk - Jill Scott

Haruka Kanata - ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION (aka... wait for it... this Naruto OP. English title is "Far, Far Away" I guess.)

Halloween - Aqua

Meteor - Croix Allcine

Electric Angel - Yasuo ft. Hatsune Miku

The Best In Me - Marvin Sapp

ROSIER - Single Version - LUNA SEA

The Real Slim Shady - Eminem

You Make Me Feel Brand New - The Stylistics

Fantasy - Earth, Wind & Fire

Do You Think About Me - 50 Cent

La-La Means I Love You - The Delfonics

Virgin cry - Laputa

Creep - Radiohead (first ever time it's not the TLC song)

Enough Of No Love - Keyshia Cole ft. Lil Wayne

Rusty Nail - X JAPAN

1, 2 Fanclub - Mikito P ft. GUMI & Kagamine Rin

Mansae - SEVENTEEN (English title? "YIPPEEE!!!!!!")

Nocturne - Castlevania Sound Team (that song the fairy sings to Alucard to help him go beddybye)

Method Man - Home Grown Version - Wu-Tang Clan (really it's just Method Man)

Heaven Sent - Keyshia Cole

Mr. - KARA

Ooo Baby Baby - Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

Ain't No Woman (Like The One I've Got) - Four Tops

GOOD MORNING SATELLITE - DEAD END (awesome guitar)

Ore no Kanojo wa Risutokatta - KYOKUTOU GIRL FRIEND (in English it's "My Girlfriend is a Wrist-Cutter" ... or maybe "My Girlfriend Cuts/Slits Her Wrists" since the longer I look at it the more I wonder if "wrist-cutter" is an English phrase.)

Astrosexy - m-flo ft. CHEMISTRY

When a Man Loves a Woman - Percy Sledge (this was my #1 song last year iirc)

I Want To Hold Your Hand - Remastered 2009 - The Beatles

Please, Please, Please - James Brown & The Famous Flames

follow the night light - deadman

Seikan Hikou - Ranka Lee (v. Nakajima Megumi) (English title is "Interstellar Flight")

One Night Only - From ‘Dreamgirls’ / Original Broadway Cast Version - Jennifer Holliday, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Loretta Devine, Deborah Burrell

Stop, Look, Listen (To Your Heart) - The Stylistics

Free Yourself (feat. Missy Elliott) - Fantasia

Barairo no Jinsei - Ando (English title is "[A] Rose-Colored Life")

The Sweetest Thing (feat. Lauryn Hill) - From the New Line Cinema film "Love Jones" - Refugee Camp All-Stars

Algo Está Cambiando - Julieta Venegas (Eng - "Something Is Changing")

die - BUCK-TICK (Helloooooooo beautiful; was almost scared this song wouldn't be here for the first time in years. This was my #1 song in 2019)

I'm Leaving You Again - New Edition

Lost Decadence - LIPHLICH

Hustler Musik - Lil Wayne

Chicago - Michael Jackson

No More Drama - Mary J. Blige

Lovin' You - Minnie Riperton

Sounds Like a Love Song - Bobby Glenn

La La La - Naughty Boy ft. Sam Smith

Deity - Louise Patricia Crane

You Are Everything - The Stylistics

Back Stabbers - The O'Jays

I'd Rather Go Blind - Etta James

Niwaka Ame ni mo Makezu - NICO Touches the Walls (Don't get mad at me... It's a Shippuden OP. The one I'm currently on! Eng is "I Won't Even Lose to Sudden Rain" or something ik the youtube link has the official translation and it's right there but i'm lazy asffffff)

Refrain Limit / Drug Habit - Laputa

Dress - BUCK-TICK (helloooooooooo gorgeous 😻)

911 (feat. Mary J. Blige) - Wyclef Jean

Yume no Hajimarinrin - Kyary Pamyu Pamyu (I guess the English title is like "My Dreams are Beginringringing" ... or more straightforwardly "The Start of My Dreams Ring Ring" but I wanted it to sound fun like the original :') )

Leave - Lil Shxwn ft. Yungeen Ace

GLORIA - ZIGGY

Y Siempre - Tierra Canela (Eng - "And Forever")

Untitled (How Does It Feel) - D'Angelo

Karma - 2BYG

You Don't Know My Name - Alicia Keys (this song is basically childhood oomf)

Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order

Love Will Tear Us Apart - 2020 Remaster - Joy Division

Love T.K.O. - Teddy Pendergrass

What Do The Lonely Do At Christmas? - The Emotions

Lonely Rolling Star - Kabata Saki (from Katamari Damacy)

Carnival of the Animals, R. 125: The Swan - Camille Saint-Saëns

Okay byeeeeeeee

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Vertigo - Laputa

Entry tags:

real life

The Pain Is Almost Over

The pain of 2025, that is! I'm so excited for the new pain and hardship 2026 will bring!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!

I didn't make one of these last month because ??? I don't know, to be honest. Let's pretend having a job threw off my usual unemployed schedule. So, this entry will cover both October and November.

I need to add this to my bio, but for now I'm putting this here: I type in my dialect on purpose, and if you try to correct it you lose relationship points with me. Thanks for understanding!

Past
In a classic Cici move, I did fuck all all of October. I don't even know why. I just didn't. And my doing nothing that month resulted in all my plans/projects falling through. 1000000000000 such cases. It seems like the only things I accomplished were completing Rhythm Tengoku and Rhythm Heaven (Gold). I watched Blacula and Sinners too, for class, but that's about it.

The Rhythm Heavens™

Both Rhythm Heavens were awesome, do recommend. These are some of my favorite minigames. (I prefer the Fan Clubs in Megamix though.) I will say that the controls for Gold made me want to hurt myself and the people around me sometimes, but that's okay! ^_^

Blacula was okay. Sinners was great! But I never can come up with much to say about movies...

November was my first month on the job and it's pretty darn okay. It's easy money. Unfortunately as a person who is/was 👌🏾 this close to being a hikikomori sometimes the difference is rooooough.

In November, I...
( the consumer )
I also finished all my normal school work, so besides Finals Week coming up (which I have never stressed over because I'm a great test taker) I'm done with school 👍🏾 One useless degree coming right up! Finally unsubbed from Spotify too, but I'm not gonna lie, this transition is hurting me. At the tail end of November I started working on a capsule wardrobe, so maybe in January or so I'll post pictures of all the outfit combinations I can make or something? *noncommittal shrug*

Present
I'm................... drawing 🤯 And since I finished Suikoden and dropped Haruka 2, I'm going to end the year with Chrono Trigger and Sakura Taisen. I don't really have plans besides that. Since I'll be spending most of the month freshly graduated, I want to relax for a while before making more unrealistic goals for myself and beating myself up when I fail ^v^

Way too late, I finally put the pieces together and realized that the reason I've drawn so little the past few years (with the sole exception of a little Moment during my sophomore year lol) is because I was too busy with or worried about school, so I'm going to make myself draw for a while and see if I can easily get back into the rhythm of it with no school holding me back.

Future
I'll be free as a bird from the 12th and onwards! You know, if you completely ignore that I have a job and all. I don't have the kind of demons that tell me to get a Master's, LMAO. Or, at least... they're not very loud <:3

I need to make some New Year's resolutions, but I'm not sure how many to have, what I should focus on, or if I should publicly share them to pressure myself into doing them or not. (If I say them publicly it'll hurt harder when I fail.) I know for sure in January I'm continuing my fan translation of that one manga, which I hope to finish within the year.

One thing I know for sure? I'm taking a nap right after I post this. Good night!